Today was okay. My good friend, Zion, came over and ate lunch and watched movie with me. It has always been nice having him around. Someone I could talk to, listen to, laugh with or be quiet with. Just pure talking or just sitting around is more than enough. It is just perfect timing now that I felt the need to be with someone to at least make me forget all my uncertainties in life. Well, thanks for that my friend. >:D<
Now that I just graduated from college (actually SEVEN months ago), thinking about the...my future is like thinking about which came first, the chicken or the egg or more likely, thinking of putting up a business with no capital in hand or much more likely, thinking of writing something which makes so much SENSE. Yes I know, thinking and planning about the future is exciting but thinking of how you'll get there is another story. And I feel so strange of even thinking and writing about this because thinking of the future is not a hobby to me. Staying at home, JOBLESS, doing all the chores, watching TV and surfing the internet is not the life I want. As days pass, I felt the need of riding the MRT (yeah even though it feels like hell) or taking a bus ride to work, sit on my desk and work, meet new people and make new friends, try a lot of food, go to different places, get promoted, earn a lot of money etc. I am not saying I don't want my home life. I have the best family and we have a simple house which can shelter us well but I think I am in the stage of wanting to explore the world and live a life of my own. I am in the stage of searching for my own destiny; finding my own inner growth.
Some people tell me, stay calm and just relax, you're still young. It's good to hear but I know I'm not that old but I am also not that young anymore to just sit around, tell myself I'm just 20 and still counting, think and feel that I'm still a student when in reality, I am no longer one. There are new people in my life who misjudged me, who misunderstood me, who in way threatened me with my abilities and since then,I want to prove to them and to the world that I am not the kind of person they say I am. That I can make a difference. That someday they will eat their words. But I do thank them for empowering me.
If ever you're reading this, sorry for the drama my friend. There are just some shifts in life that are really hard to cope with but I feel proud of myself for thinking like this, serious and growing, I think. ;)
I just hope everything will turn out well. I am preparing myself on what God has in store for me. I'm trying not to rush and complain "When will I have a job? When will I have everything I want and need in life?" because I know God has His perfect timing. I know I shouldn't have to feel this way because despite this anxiety, I know there are still a lot of things to be thankful for but I know God knows and understands me well.
For what it's worth, nothing is need to be done but to see opportunities in every challenge and to always recognize the good side in everything. I hope and I know I'll be okay and so are you. :D
