EL-OW-VI-EE :D

It is exactly 12:30 am and I'm still here in front of my laptop waiting for....I don't know. Nothing. And here I go again, crazily thinking what to write....... Since I am seeing and hearing LOVE everyday and I so love my friend's blog (Reynolph) which is more about love, maybe it's time for me to share mine. I mean, my perspective, my ideas about it. I am completely loveless now. You know, romantically. Hahaha! 

Do I sound weird if I tell you now that I've never been in love again after 4 years? or I don't know. May be there are people whom I really LIKED or may be I have fallen in love with, I am just so afraid to admit it because of this big word that I don't want to come my way: REJECTION. Wait. Let me clear it out. I am not really sure if I've really fallen in love cause I've never felt that feeling, I mean, that unexplainable feeling which I really can't explain now. Hahahahaha! It's just that, I feel so numb for this. I feel that I'll just get hurt again. That everything will just fall apart in the end. So I settled my mind for something that will help me (I think) avoid that pain. Whenever I'm starting to like somebody, like to my close friend and that mysterious guy (no he's not just a guy, he is a MAN for me) , HOPE, another big word, comes along the way. Wow! Very optimistic yet very dangerous. I've always loved that word. As I grow older, I promised myself that it would be my guide in everything. Yes, people know me as the "optimistic goody goody type". But sometimes, when fate finally tests you, your positive and happily ever after slowly changes. HOPE really is what keeps us alive, I am still a believer of that, but the funny thing is sometimes, you just have to stop hoping for that something or someone that you're never sure of from the very start. May be, just may be with that we can free ourselves from the pain or we could at least lessen it. And I know, this is the reason why I am so heartless about this crazy little thing called love because I am afraid, I am always avoiding it, I am never admitting it, I close my doors for it, I don't want to take risks, I am not confident about it and I am not confident that someone would really love me and most importantly, I learned to stop hoping and trying. Wow, this is the very first time I've blurted this out. 

But I am not a love hater. I am still a hopeless romantic, wishing for a perfect wedding day and a happy marriage. Sometimes, I ask myself when will I sleep with a smile on my face, when will I finally say I love you, when will I feel loved again. And even if I'm trying not to, I know deep within me that I am still a Disney princess waiting for my prince and our happily ever after story. As a 20 year old, that sounds a little bit uncomfortable. Hahaha.

But this emptiness teaches me something everyday. From the pain that have caused me so much sadness, I've been busy using my mind not to get hurt again not realizing that my heart really has something more to offer me. It's no other than love, still love. At the end of the day, I ask myself why am I so afraid of love? When it is actually the most wonderful here on earth. Love is nothing without pain and sacrifices. It's really up to us, human beings, how to handle it. Yes, that's right. And if ever you're wondering who is that close friend and mysterious MAN I'm talking about, let's just leave it like that, but like I said, it is how you handle it. One of the things I've learned is we should never stop hoping but we should learn how to accept good or bad situations. Learn to accept everything that comes your way. So that is what keeps me going now. One thing is for sure,wherever you are now, whatever you do, love will always finds its way because God is writing the best love story for you. 


Warmly,
Macy :)

What makes me busy now.

I started my summer vacation by reading a lot of books I have, some are gifts from friends and others are forbidden books in our bookshelf. I am such a fan of quotes, yes quotes (from books or those written or said by very sensible people) , some we received through text messages or those we see as statuses on various social networking sites. So I decided to compile all my favorite quotes from books in a notebook (a notebook given to me by a good friend, Tinay). I really don't know why I'll give so much effort to it. My sister told me it's just because I am so bored and have nothing else to do than to wait for each day to pass. She has so much point there. But reading made me realize something I've never even felt before...


Reading was my worst enemy as a child. I hate it. I am more of an explorer of a child's little wonderland. I spent my childhood outside, running, jumping, walking, laughing, talking, and playing with children like me under the smiling sun or even dancing with the falling rain from the sky. I can't even imagine myself sitting in one corner trying to understand the words I never thought could tickle my imagination. Never did I realized that reading is one of the best moments in life. That the book you're holding, may be with a cup of coffee or tea, will bring you to a world you've never been. It'll give you new found friends from the characters you may or may not like. It will give you a feeling of belonging  because at one point in your life, you are one with them.  At most times, you will feel that deep connection that will make you cry, laugh, smile or even angered. You are attached. You are one with the story. It gives you the inspiration you needed. It nourishes your soul. It gives you that sense of fulfillment when you've finally reached the very last page may be with that mixed emotion of success or nostalgia because being one with them makes you miss every part of it. That's the magic  it can give you. It's like finally reaching your dream. Reading makes you whole......again.


I came up with this idea because I always loved looking back. To people, to places,to memories. With this, I will be able to look back not just plain words but magical words that will be helpful to the real world we live in. They say experience is the best teacher but you have to have that guide to face it all and I believe words from books are. I feel it especially in my life. 


We read not just to put something in our minds but to save it all in our hearts to make our everyday a good one. So, let's continue reading like it's the first time.


Warmly,
Macy :)

Ang Kwentong Cupcake

Sa Facebook chat:

“S: Minicake!

M: Cupcake! Kamusta?

S: Okay lang! Busy ka?

M: Mejo. Bakit?

S: Pwede ka bang magsulat ng storya? Yung favorite summer experience mo? 3 to 5 paragraphs. Kailangan ko kasi sa work ko……”

                Nagdalawang-isip ako. Nagulat. Hindi naman kasi ako pala-sulat. Bakasayon ngayon. Bakit ako magsusulat? At saka kakatapos lang ng thesis ko, ayoko ng magsulat pa ulit. Pero dahil minsan lang naman humiling sa akin ang aking kaibigan, bakit hindi diba? Siguro nagtataka ka, minicake? Cupcake? Ang cheesy. Pero yan ang tawagan namin ng isang mabuting kaibigan simula pa nung high school. Di ko na matandaan kung paano nagsimula pero bagay naman eh. Ako si minicake dahil maliit lamang ako at siya si cupcake dahil mas matangkad siya sa akin. Simple. Uso rin pala kasi nun yung bagong labas na mini cake ng Lemon Square.

                Nakapagtataka, wala akong makwento. Di naman kasi pang summer ang naging karanasan ko nung nakaraang dalawang taon ng bakasyon. At ngayon, nagsisimula pa lang ako. Nagpaplano pa lang ako. Iniisip ko yung ibang mga tao na sinabihan ng kaibigan ko na magsulat ng kanilang kwento, siguro ang dami nilang maisusulat. Ang dame siguro nilang napuntahan dito man o sa ibayong dagat o kung san man. Nung nakaraang dalawang taon kasi, trabaho ang ginawa ko. Yung isa dahil gusto ko lang at yung isa required sa school, OJT. Ngunit naging masaya naman ako, parang pagsakay sa Banana Boat sa Bora ang naging pakiramdam ko………..

                Hala! Lagot! Nakatulugan ko ang pagsusulat. Sabe ko pa man din sa aking kaibigan na ngayon ako magpapasa. Baka magalit siya sakin, wag naman sana. Nakakagutom pala ang mag-isip. Hayun! May cupcake. Ang paborito kong cupcake na cheese ang flavor. Di ko na sasabihin ang brand dahil baka kunin pa akong commercial endorser dahil kaya ko to ng tatlong kagatan.

Unang Kagat. Naisip kong ikwento ang naging trabaho ko nung nakaraang dalawang taon. Naisip namen ng kaibigan kong si Joanna na magtrabaho sa isang sikat na kumpanya. Tuwing bakasyon, may Internship Program sila para sa mga kabataan. Sinubukan naming para hindi lang kami puro pasyal, swimming at hindi lang naka-tengga sa bahay. May pera pa. Naging masaya ako dahil madami akong natutunan. Sabe ko sa sarili ko, dalawang taon pa bago ako magtatrabaho, may experience na ako. At least, alam ko na ang maari kong kahantungan pagkatapos kong makuha ang aking diploma. Masarap din palang makatanggap ng isang maliit na sobre na may lamang P1500 kada lingo. Masarap pa sa angking tamis ng mais con yelo.

Ikalawang kagat. Nais ko rin sanang ikwento ang summer ko nung nakaraang taon. OJT naman sa isang women institution. Nakakainis nung una. Bakit kailangan isingit ang OJT sa bakasyon? “Boring tuloy ang magiging basakyon ko!” winika ko pa noon. Pero kung ilalarawan ko ang karanasan ko doon sa iisang salita, wala akong masasabi kundi ang isa sa pinakasikat na salita sa Facebook, EPIC! Progresibo sila at ang pakiramdam ko’y napaka-produktibo dahil imbis na nasa dagat ako’t naka-bikini, nag susunbathing naman ako sa kalye at sinusulong ang karapatan ng kababaihan, kabataan at ng bansang Pilipinas. Na-BV nga lang ako sa aking mga magulang dahil may ilang parte silang hindi maintindihan.

Aba! Ako’y ginawan ni Mama ng Iced Tea. GV ako ngayon sa kanya. Lagok. AHHHHH! Pampadagdag gana sa pagsusulat.

Ikatlong Kagat. Ay ubos na! Sabe sayo kaya ko ito ng tatlong kagatan. Teka, teka! Akalain mong nakapagkwento na pala ako ng hindi ko namamalayan. Salamat sa cupcake na to at ako’y nakapagsulat.  Sige, isesend ko na ito sa email ng aking kaibigan at baka sakaling manalo pa ako ng ipod. Hehe! ;)

               

               

Sisters I never had. :) (Posted July 6, 2011)

June 3, 2011 at Rosechel’s Condo

A nostalgic but happy Nachos and Buffalo Wings day with my girlfriendsssss! :D I love you all for the nth time! :D Please, let’s do this again. :D

                                                                                                  The View! 

                                                                               Chef Dyvi! I’m so excited!!!!!

                                                                        Rosechel helping out Chef Dyvi! :)

                                                             I love this pic! They’re so happy! We are so happy! 

                                                                          Bestfriends forever! Hahahaha!

I can’t really give a lot of reasons why we’re friends because all I know is, we’re friends because we are meant to be friends. Best friends. But one thing is for sure, we are friends because we love to eat TOGETHER! 

Perfect food + Fruitful conversations + Unending laughter + Picture taking + THEM = PRICELESS

I so miss them! All of them! They are the very reason why I sometimes feel that I want to be at school again. Please please please, Let’s do this again! 

I miss and love you Peacocks! >:D<

Photo Courtesy: Shayne Ruebe

It's because I really miss football and AIKA! (June 19, 2011)

You know I love you Aika! You are one of the most beautiful people I know, inside and out. I know I’ve said this before and now I’m saying it again. You’re a FIREWORK because you brighten up people’s lives even in their darkest days. Thank you for being my firework Aika! I miss you. I really miss you. :) 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESS! I love you till we breathe no more and even after that. :) 

New Baby!

Meet our new baby. :) Welcome to the family, Autumn!! :D 

Happy Birthday Maan! (June 16, 2011)

I miss you Maan. That’s what I always say. :| If only we could turn back time. Back when we were still little dalagas (pero ako little pa rin Hahaha!). When we laugh our hearts out even in the shallowest things we see. When we have so many crushes and never ending talk about love life. When we console each other (us 4 with Letlet and Isiree) in our darkest days. When we eat together, when we hug each other everyday. We all know that everything is so different now but the level of our friendship stays perfectly the same. 

I miss you Maan. The bubbliest person I know. I miss your apartment in Dapitan. I miss your laugh. I miss your havey na havey na hirits. I miss your father. I miss you mom’s cooking. I miss your very caring attitude. I just miss everything about you. 

Happy Birthday to you! I hope you’re always happy and I always believe that you can surpass any storm that will come in your life. You’re a strong woman, I  know that. I hope we can REALLY catch up sooner or later. Sorry if we cannot visit you there in Pampanga but I really hope it will happen. Thank you for everything, Maan. Though we’re miles apart, I know I have a true friend in you always and likewise. Enjoy your birthday! I love you Buttercup (remember?) . >:D<

P.S. Sorry for stealing your photo. Haha! I love you hair and ze BANGS madame! We really need to catch up. There is this some Marco Santos Avilla I really want to know about. <3 

June 16, 2011

To Lavinia (May 22, 2011)

You’re fond of making birthday collages for people and I think you deserve to have one too.

Happy 27th (in case, you’ll lie about your age) Birthday ATE!! 

You’re the number 1 in my life. Yes, NUMBER 1. My number one ENEMY. We’ve had all the sungit, taray, irap, sigaw and iyak moments. May be that’s the reason why I don’t have fights at school or with friends that much because I have it all at home with YOU. Bago pa man magsimula sa iba, tapos na sayo. Hehe!

But being my number one enemy doesn’t make me love you any less. Sometimes, I love you too much that it hurts. CHOS! I hardy say sorry but now, I apologize but I hope you’ll say sorry too because you’re a lot BITCHIER than I am. Hehe!

Anyhow, always remember that I am proud of you always not just as a sister but as an ordinary person who looks up to achievers like you. Communication Coach may not be as high as a CEO or whatever, it is still something worth to be proud of. 

Kahit ano pang VIEW..Front view, Side view, Back view…Basta I Love VIEW! :) Again, Happy Birthday.

P.S.

Patience is a virtue. Work will find its way to me at the right place and at the right time, IN TIME. Relax ka lang. Hehehe! :P

My Latest Passion (May 13, 2011)

Letlet have this post christmas suprise for Tinay and I and she gave me this

Keeping the Moon by Sarah Dessen

I became a fan of Sarah Dessen even before I’ve read her books and I adored her even more when I read this. The character’s names, the way she writes and the content itself. It is not just a typical chick flick love story. It is a love story of life, love and friendship. Here are some of my favorite lines:

1. The important thing to remember is that you are a human being and worthy of respect. -Morgan

2. Believe in yourself up here and it will make you stronger more than you could ever imagine. -Isabel

3. I think that being brave and self-confident doesn’t necessarily start inside, honey. It starts with the rest of the world, and it leads back to you. -Colie’s Mom

4. I don’t believe in failure because simply by saying you’ve failed, you’ve admitted you’ve attempted. And anyone who attempts is not a failure. Those who truly fails in my eyes are the ones who never try at all. The ones who sit on the couch and whine and moan and wait for the world to change for them. -Colie’s Mom

And that’s it. I love it. Do I need to say more? <3 :D

Wait. There’s more. On that same day, May 6, my friends and I went to SM San Lazaro to just do anything. We went to this Book Sale and I was able to buy these two books that I’ve been waiting to read. (It’s because I just finished Keeping the Moon and keeping myself busy with Dear John.)

I spent P130.00 ONLY for this two lovely books. The Promise of Happiness is a story about family and the Firefly Lane is about friendship. I have this hopeful thinking that I’ll learn more about life by reading books. That I’ll be able to use all the lessons in my everyday. 

Anyway, this I just wanna share. Ciao! :D

Happy Mother's Day Mama! (May 8, 2011)

She is my human alarm clock, my enemy often times. She is my storyteller and my listener at the same time. She is my dictionary of life when I can’t find its meaning. She is my living diary when I don’t have my pen and paper. She is my mirror when I can’t appreciate the beauty I have. She is my blanket and pillow when I have no one else to turn to. She is my rainbow when I don’t see the beauty in things especially in my darkest days. She is my bible verses when I am so unreasonable. She is my road to God when I nearly lost my way. She is sometimes my headache but will always be my laughter. She may be my enemy often times but will forever be my confidante. She is my best friend, my angel, my everything and most of all, she is my MOTHER. 

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY  MAMA!

I couldn’t thank you enough for everything. For giving me a wonderful life, For showering me with your love, For appreciating my simplest beauty and ability, For 16 years of sacrifices just to send me to school, For your unconditional reminders, For your meaningful life lessons, For loving my friends as your own, For being my inspiration, For your constant forgiveness, and for just being the best Mom! 

What I am, what I have and what I’ve achieved right now are all because of and for you always. I wish you all the happiness, good health and more blessings from the Lord. I may not be as beautiful as a beauty queen or as smart as the best achievers we know but I still have something to be proud of because I have YOU. I love you Mama today and always! I will always be your bunso and jinky. :D